My Apologies
So, I know I came off as a bit snotty in yesterday's post, but you have to understand, I really am quite miserable here. This past week, I've dealt with my share of humiliation and misfortune. In order to make myself feel better about it, I choose to look at it all in a condescending sort of way. A bit like a protective shield.I'm just a bit negative about this entire situation for the time being. I can't see how this all can be fair, for this whole moving thing to turn out so badly. But then again; life ain't fair, baby.
I'm hoping things will start to look up for me. I mean, they're bound to, aren't they? It just can't keep on going like this, can it? I'm not really so horrible a person that I can't make friends. I've managed to make them in the past, and the ones I've made have proven to be some of the most delightful, loyal, and loving people I know. It really can not be possible for there to not be some people who wouldn't mind being my friends in this city.
posted by The Deceiver at 7:39 PM
5 Comments:
give it time. you've only been in school a week, it takes a while to make friends. don't worry about the peace loving pot heads, there are plenty here too. i worked with them all summer. give it awhile and all will be well.
-Chris
Here I go. I'm back from my week at work and I'm going to give you some very paternalizing advice, dear. If the classes aren't challenging enough, inquire from the teachers how fast the curriculum is expected to progress, and if it's not to your full satisfaction, get into regular IB Geo before it's too late. (I wasn't always smart enough to do this in HS, but I found it was the right decision when circumstances finally enabled me to take classes a year ahead).
Next, I pray for you and I do understand the difficulty. I am going through much the same thing. This place is so much grayer on some level that I've always experienced State College that I'm sometimes thoroughly depressed over my move. It is hard and sometimes it sucks. (even more for you, i know, i know) Two things it helps me to remember and that might work for you too are that:
1)There is something here that I was missing out on in SC (hard as that may be to stomach). 2) Friendship takes two things - having the right person and being the right person. Every relationship has its own rules, and that applies to place relationships as much as people relationships.
Two other things I've thought of... it could be sucking just as much in SC right now... it's all a matter of your emotional stability (which moving, unquestionably, taxes to the limit) and your immediate social environment (which obviously has gotta be a bit lame at this point). The other things is, sometimes it helps to romanticize. Sometimes when I walk around in Swamp (though by no means is this the dumps, it's very good, in context), and I see broken glass and graffiti and the air smells strange, and everything is gray and smoggy and smutty and ucky, I think I can take this ugliness any more. (Incidentally you may be finding ugliness of a diff. sort in CO, if not this direct connection.) So I think of it in terms of a beauty an author can unearth in a novel about a character in a ghetto, or any sort of thing like that - a picture of a beautiful, living, struggling person in a place that does not favor his/her needs. This image is perennial in all sorts of art, and one in our straits can easily delve to find that its this mundane, silly muck that is hardest, in our own lives, to see in that light. The characters in books have a rather glamorous sheen on their ugly environments because it is the author's choice to paint it that way, accounting for the contrast with the living soulful individual.
So see yourself as one!
Alright dear, my dear confrere, I must now retire, as I have work tomorrow again (just Wednesdays, now) and I'll call you when I can (prob Thursday at this point).
If I annoyed hell out of you with this, just be happy that the old Alisa you were begging for is back by popular demand.
and, one last patronizing slice of advice - don't get involved with the potheads! Stay innocent, my sestrenka, and do not lose your virginity to a random (or specific!) one-of-those.
Okay, then, i'm finally off... off to try a taste of my own medicine - and not just the pothead part (to which I solemnly adhered throughout high school) but ALL of the above.
love, koit, chmok to infinity!,
alisa
**ps sorry one more thing! alyosha's first day of school is tomorrow! he's so excited. everyone is excited. be excited with us, dammit!
Hey maria!
Sounds dreary at your new school I hope it gets better. Me and Caliegh are trying to get through preseason. We miss you and cant wait till your next visit!!
good luck with fiendish high schoolers
I've never been to Colorado but there is 1 thing I've learned... Don't wait for them to come to you, if you seperate yourself it gives them a reason to give you a hard time.
I didn't because almost everybody in my class were Jerks(not the real word I wanted to you. If you want friends you will have to make the first move. I hope you have a easier experience than I did, good luck.
theJDman
you're getting friends!! you just don't know it
i think you're doing a good job actually
better than i expected
guess what i'm wearing overalls!
i miss you
i'm going to be in the denver airport tomorow so i'll call u about that to see if ur available
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