Scary.

So, we're moving.
A new life.
A new area code.

* dedicated to Sara (as promised)

Your Space

I don't really like when people make crude jokes. That's one of the reasons I don't like Myspace. Most people who have Myspaces are idiots. Just because I say this, doesn't mean you need to get all offended. Notice I used the word "most", this means my generalization may not include you. Second, just because I think you're an idiot, it doesn't stop me from liking you. Back to crude jokes. By this I mean things like "I want to have your babies." This is supposed to be funny? I don't see the humor. Seeing as most of the people who use Myspace are about 12. I don't think kids having sex is all that funny. Myspaces rarely have any reading content. You really think I'm going to read the entire list of music that you like that lasts about a million years? I doubt it. I couldn't care less about your interests and favorite movies. Not very many people who have Myspaces can spell. I guess this can be accredited to the fact that no one on Myspace seems to read. And if they do read, it's books like Gossip Girl. Which can hardly even be counted as a book. And what's with the surveys and quizzes. You're an idiot if you think someone will actually read your answers and care. It's a fact, most people only care about themselves. So basically, your entire site only matters to you.

Shut Up.

What is it, every two years we get depressed again? Why is everyone so fixated on having problems, is life too boring without having some sort of disorder? Of course, in comparison to everyone else, I seem ridiculously happy. Which is crap, by the way, I have my down moments just like anyone else. Stop making things up. Get a real life and don't wallow in your stupid bullshit problems.

When I was in seventh grade, I had a psychologist. This was because I thought my problems were special. In reality, most of my problems were imaginary. I would see her twice a week and talk to her mostly about the kids in my class. Tell her how sad I was. Complain, mostly. A good psychologist should let the patient know that he/she has the power to heal. The psychologists I know, or know of, all make the same mistake, they let or make the patient think there's a problem. The biggest problem you can have is taking yourself too seriously. I know, I know, it's a cliche. But if you think your problems are really important, chances are, you're wrong.

-2:19 PM -
Nov. 19

OK. I'm scared. This whole moving situation is becoming a reality. All of a sudden I'm struck with the prospect of having to find friends and, well, let's just say, I'm not much of a people person. I don't know how to get friends. For the first time since third grade, I'm going to be going to public school. And, frankly, I have no idea what that's going be like for me.

I Smile Like a Flower

If this me is not I, then
who am I?
If I am not the one who speaks, then
who does?
If this me is only a robe then
who is
the one I am covering?
Rumi

We All Want to Change the World.

Greetings From the Depths of Insanity.

I'm pretty much losing my head down here.

---

Говорят, не повезет,
Если черный кот дорогу перейдет,
А пока наоборот -
Только черному коту и не везет.

Чёрный Кот
Сюткин

Do You Know Who I Am? Because I Sure as Hell Don't.

I have no name. Not to you. I don't like the idea of a permanent name. Why should I be called the same thing my entire life if I'm always changing. I certainly don't feel like a Maria right now. I don't know what a Maria is. But I don't think it's a definition of me. I'm not saying Maria is a bad name, but I don't feel like one at the moment. Sometimes, I feel like a Maria. But not always.


I don't think I'm that special. Thinking that would be naive of me. I'm certainly different from a lot of kids my age, but that doesn't necessarily make me special. Off the top of my head, I can't really think of anyone who is actually Unique. Maybe Alisa. But that's because she's half bonkers and very Educated. Of course, I don't know enough people to actually be able to compare her properly.

"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."
Alison Boutler

Happy November.