Friends?

A lot of people don't seem to understand what a friend is. I find that when I'm in a good mood, when I'm most fun to be around, people want to hang out with me and talk to me. But as soon as something goes wrong, as soon as I'm upset and things don't go right, it's as if these same people -- these people who call themselves my friends-- back off. I mean, they're there when you need them, but only when it's convenient for them. A friend isn't just someone you walk away from when they become an inconvenience to you. That's what I most don't understand about this culture. Or course, I grew up in this country, but my family and friends have actually had the most influence on me. I didn't grow up holding the same values as the people at my school. To them it's as if anyone you talk to on a regular basis is a friend. I don't see how that even works. With a relationship as serious as a friendship there should be a certain level of intimacy. A friend is a ally, not just the person you trust with your secrets-- but with your life. When a friend hurts, you feel that hurt. You don't just comfort, you join her in her pain. A friendship is sincere. There's nothing fake about it, it's raw feeling and emotion. Raw people. There are no manners, no kindness-- unless it's genuine. This is what I don't understand.

I Cry. Why Not? It's Free.

I'm broken.

Sunshine